We are exhausted. As
“survivor scholars” - sex crimes scholars who are also public rape survivors -
we have dedicated our lives and careers to understanding sexual victimization,
why it happens, how to prevent it, and how to best live in the aftermath of rape.
We get it. We have lived
it. And we’re exhausted.
The #metoo movement
offered the promise of elevating the voices of individuals who had experienced
sexual harassment and victimization. At first, we were inspired and excited
that people were sharing their experiences and would be silenced no more.
However, very quickly we both became disillusioned and concerned about the
potential conflation of terms and the backlash the movement would face.
Simultaneously, we were troubled by apparent blinders still worn by so many in
the movement who continue to isolate and exclude the voices of marginalized
people, including men, trans and gender non-conforming people, indigenous, and
racial and ethnic minorities.
However, our biggest
cause for alarm continues to be the conflation of all forms of sexual
misconduct, where no distinction is made. Some activists have argued that we
should never have to differentiate between rape, sexual assault and sexual
harassment.
In our professional
opinions, guided by years of accumulated knowledge, and our personal
experiences with both rape and sexual harassment, we wholeheartedly believe
that making these distinctions is necessary if we are to have critical and
meaningful dialogue moving forward.
We acknowledge that the
grouping of all forms of sexual misconduct is not meant to intentionally
minimize the trauma of individuals who have experienced rape. However, the
unintentional consequences of this grouping does exactly that. This is
not to discount the trauma of sexual assault or harassment. In fact, the
distinction we are making is to honor the trauma caused by all forms of sexual
misconduct, while acknowledging that they are fundamentally different. We do
not see our beliefs as mutually exclusive.
Creating a cultural
shift where sexual misconduct of all forms disappears requires nuance. Broad
sweeping generalizations cause more harm than good.
Though the impact of the
#metoo movement has yet to be revealed, we question what the overarching goal
is. What do we want to achieve? Based on our own personal experiences, our
professional read of the research, and our interactions with fellow survivors
and activists, we believe that the ultimate goal is to eradicate sexual
violence. The question becomes how do we realize this goal.
Ending sexual violence
in all its forms is only possible when there is space for individuals who
have experienced it to be heard and supported and space for individuals
who perpetrated these actions to take responsibility. When we shame a person
for what some see as an insufficient apology, we further silence those who
would consider publicly acknowledging their part in perpetrating any or all
forms of sexual violence.
Trying people in the
court of public opinion and calling for them to disappear will never lead to
healing and will never prevent these types of offenses from occurring. Shaming
is ineffective at best and at its worst can lead to an increase in the very
behaviors we are trying to prevent. In The Gifts of Imperfection, shame
and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brene Brown states that, “shame corrodes the
very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
We are at a crossroads.
We have the power and the capacity to make real and lasting changes. This
requires that we be willing to lean into uncomfortable conversations and
realities about how and why sexual victimization occurs. We cannot expect
change if we do not honor the importance of voices and lived experiences both
of people who have experienced sexual harassment, assault, and rape, and people
who have perpetrated these offenses.
We fully recognize and
expect that many people will fundamentally disagree with our stance. We
acknowledge and respect those opinions and welcome the uncomfortable dialogues
that will inevitably ensue. We formulated this path forward based on our lived
experiences as survivors and criminal justice professors who believe that our
current approach to sexual violence does not reduce harm, bring closure, or
prevent future offenses.
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